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title: Let Them Fight
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What to do the next time you hear “Mommy, tell him to stop!” ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­    ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏  ͏ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­  

| View in browser Hi Hamaspik Families,    The Shabbos before last, my daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. This past Shabbos, nearly my entire family was together, and I had the glorious pleasure of watching my two married daughters delighting in each other's children. It filled me with soul-expanding joy. And I couldn't help thinking back to when these two young mothers were little girls themselves. They loved each other. But that didn't stop them from fighting over headbands, arguing about who got to study with a friend in their shared room, and coming to me with complaints about each other. I knew sibling rivalry was perfectly normal, yet the bickering wore me down. Now, here they were, two grown women, laughing together, sharing advice, admiring each other's babies, and genuinely enjoying each other's company. What a gift to see where those childhood relationships had led. I wish I could send a little message to my younger self: Don't get so worked up about every argument. This isn't what their relationship will look like forever. Of course, I can't promise that every pair of squabbling siblings will grow up to be close friends. And in families where one child has special needs, sibling relationships can be even more complicated. But there's something enormously reassuring about recognizing that the relationships our children have today may look very different from the ones they'll have ten or twenty years from now. In this month's article, Dr. Sharon (Sora) Yaroslawitz offers a fascinating explanation of why sibling rivalry often fades as children grow older. She also shares practical advice on how to handle those endless arguments without inadvertently making things worse. Would I have appreciated a little less fighting back then? Absolutely. But seeing my daughters together now, I realize that those squabbles were only one chapter of a much longer story. Beneath the Bickering “He started it!” “She took my seat!” “Mommy, tell him to stop!” Sounds familiar? If you sometimes feel like your children can't spend five minutes together without fighting, you're in good company. And if you're exhausted from constantly playing referee, here's some encouraging news: All that bickering may actually be a sign of something good. According to Dr. Sharon (Sora) Yaroslawitz, sibling rivalry is, at its core, a competition for parental love and attention. Your children may be fighting over a toy or the window seat, but underneath it all, they're often competing for something far more precious: you. While that competition can be exhausting, it also gives children chances to develop important life skills, such as compromising, forgiving, and resolving disagreements. So, how can you turn down the volume? First, help each child feel secure in your love. Tell them what makes them special. Notice their efforts. Find opportunities for one-on-one attention. The more confident children feel about their place in your heart, the less threatened they'll feel by their siblings. Second, resist the urge to play judge. When an argument erupts, listen for signs of danger. If nobody is being hurt or intimidated, give your children a chance to work things out themselves. Taking sides, even with the best intentions, may leave one child feeling that you love their sibling more, fueling the next round of fighting. If things turn physical or get out of hand, calmly separate the children until they've cooled down, without getting into who started it. Of course, not every fight can be left to peter out on its own. How can you tell ordinary sibling rivalry from bullying? And what should you do when one child repeatedly targets another? Dr. Yaroslawitz answers these questions and shares more practical strategies in the full article. READ IT HERE Someone's Favorite Person Imagine arriving at work and discovering that someone's been waiting by the window for you. They're excited to see you. They have something to share, a story to tell, or simply a smile that makes it clear how much they look forward to spending time with you. That's the kind of relationship that can develop when you work as a Direct Support Professional (DSP) in a Hamaspik group home. Our DSPs help residents with meals, dressing, and personal care — and their role goes far beyond that. They bring warmth and companionship into the home, share in Shabbos and Yom Tov preparations, and create moments of connection that make ordinary days special. As many of our DSPs discover, those relationships enrich their own lives, too. You don't need a degree or previous experience. Hamaspik provides training, supportive colleagues, and a warm, frum environment. If you’re a college student who needs internship hours, a mother of grown children with time to give, or someone looking for meaningful work, this may be exactly the opportunity you've been looking for. Would you like to be the person someone waits by the window to see? Learn more and apply.   Final thoughts 💌 Was this helpful? If this newsletter made you think, smile, or breathe a little easier,  please forward it to someone else who’d appreciate it too.   Got this from a friend? 👉 Subscribe here so you never miss our bi-weekly dose of support.   Want more? Follow us wherever you hang out: WhatsApp; Instagram; Facebook You received this email because you signed up on our website or for our newsletter. However if you no longer wish to receive these emails, you can unsubscribe below. Hamaspik of Kings Country, 4102 14th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219, United States, 718-587-8400 Ext. 156 Unsubscribe Manage preferences |
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